Dwania Millen
Hey girl! What a gwaan? (What’s up, for all my non-Jamaican readers Haha!) I really love having all of you here. Thanks for checking in. Remember last time I told you about one of the lies they told me as a Single Christian girlie– that I needed to “get out and be ‘seen’”? Well, here’s something crazier. There are two more of these ridiculous lies I need to share with you. Today, I am sharing with you lie number 2!
Let me give you a clue: If I needed to be on the right scene to be seen, I was going to need to change how I _________. Drop your answer in the comment section below. If you said “dressed”, you guessed it! I needed to change how I dressed. Looking back now, I shake my head at the ridiculousness I was listening too. I wasn’t sexy enough; my clothes were too big; I wore too many skirts, and please ditch the modesty to show a little skin. Now, this part I can say was a direct assault from the enemy himself who was trying to devour my whole life because I cannot recall a single “friend” who told me I needed to change my attire. I had no Princess Diaries makeover moment; I just found myself starting to think this way.
I would scrutinize myself in the mirror, dissatisfied with my modest attire. I looked great (in retrospect), but I wasn’t quite ready for “the scene”. Who would want to be “seen” in a modest skirt and blouse? I might as well put on a potato sack walking around like that, so the temptation was to show a little skin. Thankfully though, that could NEVER happen in my parent’s house! Plus, I cared so much about the respect of my father and my place in the church that as dissatisfied as the enemy caused me to feel with these new distracting thoughts, I couldn’t bring myself to execute.
It’s not for you!
But, girl, let me tell you, there was another reason showing more skin wasn’t in for me. Conviction. That Romans 12:2 sat down in my soul: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” I remember putting on clothes, showing a hint of a thigh and feeling a– No, Dwania, take that off– in my spirit! I remember showing some shoulders and feeling uncomfortable. I remember changing whole outfits, even jeans pants that were too tight in places. I remember not even bothering to go out because of discomfort about what I wanted to wear…”to be seen”. Have you ever put on something and taken it off because you felt convicted? Listen, I learnt a long time ago that not everybody can get away with everything; some things are just not for you, as a Christian, so you might see someone in the same off-the-shoulder blouse that you put back and wonder “How is it that they get to wear it, and I can’t?” Girl, it is not for you. Trust Jesus, it’s not for you, child, put it back. That’s the Holy Spirit at work in you, guiding you, so stop taking his guidance for granted.
Jesus makes the Difference
Guess what? A funny thing happened. My husband took me to an art gallery on our first date. He remembers being quite impressed with my attire. I had on a long-sleeved blouse, a modest jeans pants, flat shoes and a knapsack- navy blue and cream, colour-coordinated and looking really fabulous! I was actually coming from a staff meeting when he picked me up. He loved my outfit and remembers it to this day— Why? He says he didn’t really like the way I dressed at the church youth conferences in those, “hat thingys” big t-shirts and long skirts, but he wanted to get to know me anyway because he could see I was just great. I am writing this and laughing, because I hated those hats too! Haha! (They were required at the conference) My point is, you do not have to become immodest to attract a spouse. You are not a bird doing a special little dance; you are a Child of God, and He will provide if you walk in godliness. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 tells us: “likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness–with good works.” (ESV) Let us examine the motives of our hearts when we look at ourselves in the mirror. Let your heart and your works speak for you– and not the clothes that you wear– that you are beautiful in the Lord.
Guess what? Next week I tell you one more lie that the Lord had to erase from my heart, and that He is doing the same for you right now. Have a blessed week, girl. Hugs!
Have you subscribed as yet? If not, how about you do so to receive posts straight to your inbox and any upcoming freebies or exclusive content? I’d love if you could be a part of our community! Also, if you want more information on how you can walk this single life out as a single girlie, check out my book on Amazon.
Dwania Duhaney Millen 